VaguE FrEeDoM...

eych

12:25pm

she lighted her cigarette...

a puff...

as she waited for her favorite music to be played on the same radio station that she listens everyday...

a puff...

she sits alone in the waiting shed...

waiting for something...

puff...

her music has not been played yet...

puff...

a white butterfly crossed her sight...

she stared at the butterfly playing around the grasses...

puff...

the taste of the smoke rushed through her throat...

she felt it... it's been a year since her last puff...

12:30pm...

she made a missed call...

puff...

she continuously puffed her cigarette...

last puff...

she's been longing for a cigarette...

she sat there for a while...

12:33

she walked down the road...

and felt high... a feeling she haven't felt for a long time...

the taste of the cigarette's smoke...

it was great... it was freeing...

crossing...

she didn't even bother to look behind her...

12:35

she walked...

steadily on a straight line...

her craving was satisfied...

"tomorrow again"... she thought...

eych

january 6,2009

3:04 pm

she thought of buying a stick of cigarette...

just a stick to ease the pain... at least...

four hours and twenty minutes before...

twenty seconds of tears... nothing more...

it's over, she told herself...

3:04 pm

she forgot her lighter...

four hours and twenty minutes after...

it's all over...

tabulas

For patron accounts, I've added one new feature: linkbacks. Any time a Tabulas user posts an entry that links to a particular entry of yours, you'll see it appear in the comment view of a page. This will help you discover who's talking about your entries on Tabulas, and it is a way to encourage you to link to other's posts as well!

I've also started processing Tabulas entries for the "Related" entries feature - for those of you who don't know, this is a magical feature which will try to find "related" entries that you've written. Sometimes it's accurate, sometimes it's not. But it's fun to see what entries will show up

Related entries are processed nightly, so you may have to wait a bit to get related entries. All patron account should have had their entries processed, though.

eych

"i'll let him linger in my dreams... and tomorrow, i'll be waking up at the bright side of my bed..."

- a text message i sent to my friends sa giem bago ako matulog...

and guess what!... he did linger in my dreams last night ... well, actually kaninang madaling araw... hehehe... ang gagu, ang kulit!...

totoo ba ung kapag kung ano o kung sino ung huling inisip mo bago ka matulog e un ung mapapaniginipan mo?... kumusta naman un... ilang beses na nangyari sa akin un tapos sa ibang friends ko rin... hahaha...

well i don't have to broaden the setting of my dream... basta magulo kasi nandun kami sa bahay nung isang girl na friend namen... nagmomoviemarathon kami... tapos nandun naman ung kwarto ni guy ko... tas nandun din ung nanay niya... hahaha... basta magulo... hahaha...

kapag nabasa ko tong blog na ito maaalala ko ung dream na un for sure... hehehe...

haaay... nakakafrustrate lang ung ginagawa ko sa sarili ko... i told myself how many times na to let go... but here i am... falling over and over again... he keeps letting me naman kasi... hindi ko na alam gagawin ko... hanggang panaginip nandun siya...

halatang halata na ako... alam ko nakikita na niya... pero hindi pa rin siya gumagalaw... dalawa lang ang ibig sabihin nun... una, hindi niya ako gusto, walang mutal feelings... at pangalawa, tanga lang talaga ako... hindi pa ako handa para sabihin sa kanya ung nararamdaman ko... (ano ngay un, naging tagalog na!... )... i don't know what to say and what to do after we'll have 'the talk'... hindi ko alam kung nagpaparamdam siya ng 'gusto-kasi-kita' na mga moves... parang oo kasi na hindi e... hindi ko alam... we're friends, yeah, un alam ko un...

the hell, i started with an enthusiastic tone tapos ngayon i'm feeling down... fuck this... i am strong... i have to be strong... there are other things to think about... hindi lang sakanya kailangang umikot ang mundo at isipan ko... this is all wrong... 2009 na pero un pa rin ung iniisip ko... siya pa rin... ngayong taon e i havfe to learn to control myself... contolled ung thoughts ko about sakanya... controlled behavior... hahaha... basta control yourself eych...

we'll just let things flow as it is... hahayaan ko na lang ung tinatawag na destiny do its magic on me...

eych

i waited for the answer... and finally... last night... it came...

it wasn't that clear...

but i get the point...

i always get the point...

i'm just too scared...

scared to accept the fact that you never liked me...

that you never loved me...

and it's true...

now i have to compose myself and let all these things pass...

it's hard... i know...

but i have to... you just have to let me...

eych

an entry from my multiply account... i posted this one last october 14, 2008... binasa ko kasi siya uli tapos naaliw naman daw ako... hehehe...

just highlight the poem with your mouse para mabasa niyo... hehehe... i copied and pasted the whole thing from my multiply kaya ganyan e... hehehe... thanks for understanding...

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pinakita ng kapatid ko ung moon kahapon... it was nedyo full na tapos may ilaw ilaw pa sa paligid niya... basta ganun... ang hirap niya idescribe dahil sa kagandahan niya...  hehehe...
     final exam kanina sa math130... at si sir ay humirit ng pagpapagawa ng 3-stanza poem with not less than three lines per stanza na ginagamitan mo ng math concepts!... hahaha... asensado si sir!... 3 stanzas na!... hahaha... siguro naaliw siya dun sa pinagsususulat namin nung third long exam...
     anyweiz... hindi ko natapos ung poem ko kasi nakulangan na ng time... ang hirap kaya mag-isip tapos pagdudugtong-dugtongin mo pa ung thoughts mo... on the spot math-poem making... hahaha... intitled pa nga siya e... hehehe... ui! 5 points bounus din un...hehehe... sayang nga lang hindi ko natapos...
     owel... dito ko na lang tatapusin... etoh ung naipasa ko:

As I see your image stands in front of me
Thoughts of you continuously fill my mind
Boundless memories enter my head

How can you prove my worth to you?...
How can I see if it is true?...

     Ang ganda nung moon!... soooooobra!... Tas parang ang lapit niya sa earth... bilog na bilog pa siya... whaaaaah!... *click *click *click... ayan, napicturan ko na sa utak ko...hehehe... wala naman kasi akong cam para may souvinier sana... hehehe... (o kaya pakunan na lang tas hihingi na lang ako ng kopya sa iyo... hehehe...)
     I felt down after nung exam ko... Hindi ko kasi narebiew ung dalawang proving na kasama dun!... whaaaaah!... babawi na lang sana ako sa bonus kaso hindi pa natapos...*snap... tsk! grrr!...
     etoh na ung thoughts ko... buo na siya... hehehe....

Alaaaah!... ang tagal kong ginawa un ah!... tsk tsk tsk...  pasensiya sa putol-putol na ideas... hehehe... un na talaga ang nagawa ng creative math writing ko... hehehe... applying math with your everyday life... well not everyday, pero atleast with your thoughts...  hahaha..

One of the bigger complaints I've gotten about the control panel redesign is the lack of accurate hit logging. To that end, I've added back one of the more popular features for patron accounts: viewing your recent visitor traffic logs.

Because of server limitations, you can only view your last 72 hours worth of data, but the data it provides should give you a better idea of where your traffic is coming from.

Check it out in your control panel.

A list of things that still need to be done before school starts:

And school starts in three (3) days. EEK!

• Flute solo - I picked a semi-complicated one with a lot of trills [to memorize!]
• Trig test
• 3 Philosophy journals
• Finish reading a book
  

Don't I just love paying for my sins... -.-